"Is everything this beautiful..."

So I have finally got up enough endurance to write about my first week of camp. BRIDGESwas not an easy week. This was the first year that this camp ever happened, so we were all braving this together. We had to have confidence in our director and cut her some slack when things went wrong because this was her first time too (TWSS). Luckily, it wasn't too hard to do that because Laurie is a pretty amazing lady. I look up to her so much and her passion for what she does is contagious. She was a great director, when I was at my lowest and didn't want to give anymore, I would think of her and that my efforts were a small part of making her dreams come true and that was my motivation to not punch anyone in the throat. Laurie's Story is pretty inspiring and shows that her whole heart is in this camp.


For the most part, I work with a pretty awesome group of girls. Unfortunately, every issue that had to be dealt with that week centered around one or two of the facilitators. That was the hardest part. I felt like I was surrounded by people that didn't deal with things in the way that is appropriate as an authority figure. I have never felt more physically or mentally drained then I have that week. I am so thankful that we didn't do two weeks in a row. This month break was much needed. Don't get me wrong though, I am so thankful to have met these girls and have them be a part of my life. They are all beautiful people, but some people just aren't meant to be leading girls so close to their own age. This upcoming week will be a lot better though because Laurie took care of those issues and repositioned some of my co-workers.

The girls, on the other hand, were amazing! My fellow facilitator, Addy, and I had the perfect group! I have never been more proud of a group of girls in my life!


These girls range from age 13 to 15 and at the beginning of the week these girls were the queen bees. They thought they were hot stuff and everyone had to answer to them. As the week progressed they were able to examine themselves and who they were becoming. Most of them didn't like what they saw and made huge improvements throughout the week. By the last day my heart was just overflowing with love, joy and pride for these girls. There are two that call or text me about every other day and ask advice or just want to say hi. It's hard to be a teenage girls these days and with the way that these girls were heading at such a early age, I hope that I can be at least one positive influence in their life.

Even though the week was one of the toughest I've had and I felt drained, useless and out of my element, by the end of the week I saw why I was there. I found what I am good at, the age that I work best with. I realized my calling in life. I feel so privileged that I was able to be apart of this for it's first year and with the group that was involved.



More Pictures

See us on the local news!

"Someday my generation is gonna rule the population"

My heart is broken right now...

It all started on Sunday afternoon. I was in the middle of watching Kung-Fu Panda and I got a text message asking if I had heard about the local high school kid that was killed. Shocked that I hadn't heard anything, I asked her what happened. She proceeded to tell me that three boys from my old high school shot another local kid point blank in the head. Two of the boys graduated from Sinagua with my brother, they were 18, and the other was going to be a senior, he was 17. The boy that was shot was only 16 and he had dropped out from one of the other high schools in town. My friend told me that she had heard that the boy that they shot was their drug dealer and their confrontation was over drugs.

This has been the topic of conversation with every person I have come in contact with that has lived in Flagstaff for more than 10 years. Whether it be running in to them at the grocery store, or seeing them at the gym, someone seems to have another piece of the puzzle that is this murder. They either talk about these kid's family lives, or what they were involved in or who their friends are. Everyone seems to have heard new information from someone who knows them or someone who is involved.

I feel like I am watching a television drama as I wait in anticipation for the next bit of information. Everyday the police release more information pertaining to the murder. So far, they have found that the murder was in fact over drugs. The night before the murder the 17 year old contacted the 16 year old and was interested in trading him some marijuana for ecstasy. The 16 year old agreed and set up a place for them to meet. When they met the 16 year old started beating the other kid, stole his marijuana and cell phone and told him to never try and sell drugs in his territory again. The 17 year old went home angry and called his friend (one of the 18 year olds charged) and his friend brought over a pellet gun and and loaded handgun. He gave him the pellet gun saying that it wouldn't get him in trouble if he used it. This was around 4am on last Thursday morning. Thursday night at 10pm was when the 16 year old's body was found with one gunshot wound in his head. He was already dead by the time they found him. Two of the boys are being charged with 1st degree murder, robbery and kidnapping. The third boy is being charged with premeditated murder, robbery and kidnapping.

I think the reason that this is the topic of everyone's conversation is because we are completely shocked. This is not the Flagstaff that we remember. People are shocked that teenagers that go to school with their kids would kill another person over drugs. My heart is broken because these kid's lives are over because of this decision, and in a town like Flagstaff, their family's lives are over too. Anyone who has recently attended high school in Flagstaff knows that there is a huge drug problem here and knows where to get drugs if they wanted to, but I think that this murder will open the eyes of the entire town, including law enforcement, to the reality of the drug problem, and that something needs to be done to stop it.

Here are links to the articles that have been in the local newspaper giving the newest information:

Sunday July 13th, 2008
Monday July 14th, 2008
Tuesday July 15th, 2008
Wednesday July 16th, 2008

"But today, I have the opportunity to choose"

There are so many categories, tiers, levels and connotations of the word loss. It could be as simple as losing a pencil, or go as deep and personal as the death of someone close and there is still so much in between. I recently "lost" my brother to a different town when he moved for college. There could be the loss of a home when you move somewhere new, the loss of a good friend when they grow and change, the loss of a family pet, or the loss of a job. No matter what is lost, it always seems to be a negative thing, or that seems to be how we react to it. I think it is because it is human nature to be uncomfortable with change.

Sometimes people, me included, thrive off change. I feel like it keeps me awake, on my toes, it keeps my heart beating. But, there is nothing like the safety, comfort and security of KNOWING what is going to happen. Loss requires a lot of trust because it means your future is going to change. We can't see the future so we have to trust that we are going to be okay and that we will be able to survive without whatever was lost. Trust is a tough concept because no one likes not being in control, but it is something that we have to do because honestly what other choice do we have? We can't change our current situations, we can't bring back what we have lost.

I firmly believe that everything in life is a choice. Love is a choice, trust is a choice, happiness and satisfaction are choices. Life is about your perspective and how you CHOOSE to look at it.

I do believe that there is something positive that comes out of loss and that is the ability to change and grow. It is an opportunity for us to choose if we are going to sit and think of what was or what could have been, or if we are going to use this to better ourselves, learn and grow.

I choose to trust and know that everything is going to be okay, even when I feel completely lost. I choose to see the positive in loss and use it to my advantage.