"And then your heart just breaks"

It's weird. I'm taking a class called Death, Grief and Bereavement. People always have weird reactions when they find out I'm taking this class. They always talk about how "morbid" it is that I would take that and ask why I would want to put myself through it. After I explain that I plan to get my Master's degree in Counseling, they start to understand. They still think it's weird, but they say they understand. The truth is that I love this class and am very excited about it. Death is something that everyone goes through and has to deal with at some point in their lives and I think that the more educated I am about this subject, the more I will be able to help people that are going through it.

I am supposed to be putting together a "Deathology", which documents everything death related that I have gone through in my life and how it has affected me.

Today I came back from lunch and was informed that one of our employees killed himself. He didn't show up to work today or call so our manager went to his home and found him. My heart is broken. We had to organize a meeting this afternoon to tell all of the rest of the employees. Giving that news might have been the worst thing I've ever gone through. Watching the color drain out of their faces as they heard the news made me sick.

It's weird that I've been thinking about death and how it has affected me all day as I've worked on my "Deathology" and then this happened.